In the July dear skirt! section, I published part of a letter by Carissa Jones. Here is the rest of that letter, a stunning commentary on the balancing act that plagues us all -- and how one woman sought to even out the scales.

Dear Sara,

I must start by saying I am a big fan of skirt!. One of my dear friends introduced me to the magazine last fall, and I find that I am frequently longing to lose myself in the pages while lying in bed with an espresso. It is a relaxing, invigorating and inspiring publication all in one! I loved your commentary on nesting in the May issue and feel that I can truly relate to your experiences, although my story is a bit different.

I've always been a person who felt that there was more to life that which had been given to me by my parents as well as what my small town upbringing could offer. I left home at 17 to attend college, exhibiting the usual characteristics of a young, naive and immature college bound adult. I married young, spending much of my 20s and early 30s trying to find the balance between the typical nester and an independent, successful business woman. The struggle was sometimes extremely difficult; I always wanted to be everything to everyone. Every baby shower or birthday party I attended was always accompanied with the most uniquely wrapped gifts that made everyone ooh and aah over the care and concern that was taken in the presentation. My home was spotless, and my gardens were always well thought out with notes accompanying the assorted annuals denoting where they grew best last year, when their blooming peaked, so on and so forth. I was the accommodating wife... I knew exactly what my husband wanted and I catered to his every need. With all of this attention paid to the small details, I somehow found the time to take a small medical diagnostics business to an all time high sales growth in the United States. This required much travel in 2006, leaving me feeling as if I had done some injustice to my husband and my role as a nester. How could I continue to successfully fill both roles with the vigor and enthusiasm that each one deserved? How could I learn to play each role to my advantage, taking care of my personal needs in the process and let go of the expectations that loomed over my head from day to day?

Then the day came: my husband left. Our paths had grown apart as my career began to consume me and the two of us no longer had the same need for each other as we originally had. At first it was painful; however, soon thereafter I realized something very important. I realized it is okay to be both a nester and a professional career-minded woman, but one cannot allow the perfectionist mentality to overcome the mere enjoyment of exploring one's interests and personal needs. I also realized that it is okay to take care of myself and to be 'selfish', which is often a word with negative connotations in our culture. I allow myself to do the best job I can do no matter what the task: planting a new garden, painting canvas for the living room or speaking in front of world renown cardiologists about the necessary tools to assist them in their research. The best job I can do isn't always perfect, and I've come to realize it doesn't have to be. 

Carissa